I cant make myself climax with my fingers or anyone else

I am a women in my 40s who has been married since my 20s. My husband and I dont have a great sex life. Frequency is an issue and I know I am a large part of why.

I have never climaxed with someone else. And even worse I can only make myself climax by rubbing my clit on the edge of something hard like a desk or counter. I had probably 5 partners before my husband. The first few in hs I dont think I understood much of how my body should work. It felt GOOD for sure but I was naive. My college partners werent the kind who wanted to put a lot of effort into my satisfaction so I just kept faking. The first few times with my husband were pretty fast and I was more concerned about making him feel better that I faked it. I have faked it every single time Ive been with someone. Do I get excited - yes. I have realized that I really enjoy when my husband goes down on me. I enjoy doing the same for him. But I cant get myself over the "hump" (haha) of actually having an orgasm with him. And I cant even play with myself to help during sex together because I literally have never brought myself to orgasm with my fingers. Its like I have desensitized my clit from years of rubbing it on a hard corner. Is that possible? I feel broken.