NP boundaries for the home

my NP (25M) asked if he could bring a girl he’s seeing (21F) to our apartment. i said i am really not comfortable with that at this time. he said that since he lives here too, he should be allowed to bring people over. he said he feels like he cannot fully share who he is without showing someone his space and his stuff. i told him that our home is also my space, and i still don’t feel comfortable with that. they were going to a park and also wanted to paint together, so i gave him my painting supplies and my picnic blanket for her to use. he said it wasn’t enough and that he should be able to bring her here. he said he could just not bring her in our bedroom, and i reminded him that we have already established that as a rule, we won’t bring other people into our bedroom, and i told him that was not a compromise. he told me that maybe we just couldn’t compromise on it.

anyway, when they hung out, they painted outside, and then came into our home and hung out in here. i kept having to ask “what did you do?” it was “she came in to clean your paintbrushes” and then “well i also showed her an episode of a show” and then “yeah she was here for like an hour”. i had to pull it out of him and i feel like i have to do that a lot.

anyway, sorry this is so long. i am wondering, when you live with a partner and only have the emotional capacity for parallel poly, is this a fair thing to not want? he tells me that it’s unfair. when we talked about it further, i told him i just didn’t want other people in my space. he said “so you don’t want to be polyamorous then”. i feel like my feelings are valid but he makes me feel like my feelings are horrible.