What's your Mount Rushmore of annoying chief complaints?

1) "I don't know, my wife made me"

2) "I'm blind" (wears a +1.75 reader PRN is 20/20 OD and OS)

3) "The DMV sent me here, I'm not having any problems though"

4) "I started seeing some floaters and think I might be losing peripheral vision" (Doesn't know which eye, doesn't know when it started"