I wish my husband would just fucking leave.

I wish my husband would just leave already. He hates his life, including me and having to provide for our kids. He just wants to smoke pot and sit on his ass. He tries to act like he does more than me but everything he does he does for himself. He’s a covert narcissistic poser asshole and I don’t even want to be around him anymore. We go to marriage counseling and all he talks about is how hard his job is. He really needs to go to individual counseling and fix his own problems. I know I could leave but there is no way I could leave my kids here with him to fend for themselves. They are both autistic and if I left he would just take all his frustration out on them instead of me. I saw the red flags many years ago and chose to ignore them. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t change anything though because I love my kids more than myself. They are the only reason I haven’t sunk deeper into the trap I feel like I’m in with my husband. Seriously it’s like my kids get home from school and we are so happy for a couple hours then he gets home and it’s like he sucks all the happiness out. I don’t need any advice I just needed to get this out. Thanks for being there.