What am I doing wrong with feeding?

FTM, LO is 3 weeks today. I had trouble getting milk in at first, but I’m pumping 1-2 times per day and getting at least 5 Oz per pump. Baby latches great on both sides and I watch her neck/throat to make sure she’s drinking and swallowing, not just sucking. I can hear her gulping or making the “kuh” sound sometimes. Sometimes she drinks so fast on one side that she chokes on the milk and I have to sit her up and burp her while she coughs. So I know she’s able to get milk from the breast. She also was already 7 oz over her birth weight at her two week appointment, so she has to be getting calories and nutrition.

My first issue is that I don’t understand when she’s hungry. I try to pay attention to her hunger cues and feed her when she is rooting or sticking out her tongue and if she is crying for a while after a change and after being rocked and not cold, I’ll feed her, so the last few days, she’s eaten at the breast a lot throughout the day. And I’ll let her feed until she drops, so sometimes they’ll be 45-60 minute sessions. She has been feeding so often the last couple days that I never have to really track the 2-3 hour window.

My husband thinks that she isn’t feeding until full at the breast and only with the pumped breast milk bottles. Last night, after a week of sleeping well in the bassinet, she refused to sleep anywhere other than on me and when I handed her off to my husband at 4:30a, he rocked her, gave her a bottle at 6a, and then she slept in the bassinet fine for 2 hours! So he thinks she’s just using me as a pacifier (and she doesn’t take a paci), but I guess still hungry regardless of how much I feed her at the breast? Last night was the first night she just would not go into the bassinet and didn’t sleep very well throughout th day. I just hate that I am struggling to understand her cries and when she’s actually hungry. I also do love breastfeeding her and I don’t mind pumping a couple bottles a day so my husband can feed her, but it would be hard to pump more and switch to bottle feeding (but I would if that’s what I need to do)