i hate my period

i hate my period, cant fucking stand it. every time i get my period i start crying uncontrollably, like full on sobbing. everyone treats periods like this normal thing thats just a part of life (which it is) but i just cant live with bleeding every month. im literally taking birth control just to get rid of my period but lo and behold im still fucking bleeding. yes its less than before, yes i dont have any cramps but im still reacting the same way as before (by crying) if i see any speck of blood, yes im over reacting but i cant just stop crying, its like my body just decides to cry at a slight hint that my period might come back. im following all the rules and im still getting punished. i hate that i need to live like this for like another 30 years.