My past 24 hours

Ride your dildo without boiling it first or disinfecting in any way besides soap

Get a UTI

Take antibiotics on an empty stomach

Projectile vomit and liquid diarrhea

Eat plain pasta standing at the kitchen counter, now you have a UTI AND anxiety over C diff

Wait for UTI to get better so I can muster up the strength to call my GP and ask if I need another dose