Behaved horribly at a rave, can I come back?

I went to a Halloween rave last year and got blackout drunk/high. Don’t remember much of it except the kicking out part, security told me I was harassing guests and acting horribly, I even got into a little altercation with security staff about it. I have been ashamed of that night massively, and have since went full sober (over 3 months full sober now). However I still love the music and that particular rave organizer. Am I allowed to go back? Or should I wait or never go at all anymore? Appreciate all feedback.