My friend was accused of molesting a child

I used to work in a child-related field and worked with him for close to ten years. I never, ever had any reason to question him. Like never anything that would suggest this was even in the realm of possibility. And I got pretty good at getting a sense for people, at least I thought.

The work trained me to always believe a victim. I am now having an inner crisis which is exacerbated by the fact that I know the alleged victim. I’ll spare the details but I’m doing those things that I never thought I would do… like questioning her story, her character, her history. I feel terrible that I’m not just accepting it as true.

On the other hand, I’m thinking about all the times I worked with kids who disclosed abuse by someone and everyone who didn’t know the situation was like “no! He would never do that! He’s an upstanding citizen with a good reputation.” And how much abusers can hide in plain sight, positioning themselves close to children, choosing victims who are less likely to be believed because of their circumstances.

And part of me is still worried for him. How he’s feeling, what he’s thinking. Because if it’s false, he’s basically fucked for life. This will never go away completely. His career as he knew it is toast.

But then I think, if it’s true, she’s fucked for life - mentally and emotionally. That doesn’t go away completely either.

I feel like a terrible person for being conflicted. I also feel like a terrible person for making this about my own inner turmoil.

I don’t know which way is up and which way is down right now. I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting this. I guess just to get it off my chest…. But any advice or feedback is most welcome.

ETA: I no longer work at that job and found out because he was arrested. Reporting is not a question here. I don’t have contact with the victim at this point and haven’t in some time.

Edit 2: I thank everyone who responded to help me process. I think I was just in shock and needed to allow my brain to work through it. I believe this child. My confidence in my own judgment is truly shaken.