Stutter

Well I went on a stutter day outing with a few people who had stutters as well and yes mine is not as bad anymore because I swap words that make it easier for me to fill sentences but it does cause me a lot of inside stress as I do not want to stutter not to mention headaches. However it works for me as I’ve had good experiences and bad experiences when stuttering but the bad weighs a lot more so I tend to try to be fluent as best as I can. However I still find It hard to reach my full potential as I have tried to talk as best as I can and I still cannot shout after others as in (call after someone who’s walking away so I’ve to chase after them if I need them not even shout but call their name) or say hi on the phone so I say hello instead and I cannot give speeches even though I’ve tried presentations before sometimes it’s ok and people say better luck next time but next time I will speak like that again as it’s not my fault. And the people on the stutter walk told me to be myself and just stutter but it’s hard to stutter working in customer service !! How do I stutter on purpose and be proud of it?? It’s not something to be proud of I find it rather the opposite before I was 5 I could talk and had no problems then I was told that something happened that caused me a lot of trauma and then I couldn’t speak ?? So how does that even happen