Am I doing the unforgivable sin?

Earlier I got really mad at God and sinned knowing darn well it was wrong. Fast forward a couple hours, I feel bad now. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ve asked for forgiveness, but God seems really distant now. I don’t know what to to. I’m scared my relationship with God is officially over. I can’t even read the Bible or listen to Christian music without feeling guilty. I am so mad at myself right now. I’ve disappointed God and I’ve disappointed myself. (It was something I was struggling with a lot) I just want this struggle to end. In all honesty. I’m tried of living this life.