Chances our relationship will work again?

My ex-boyfriend (25M) and I (23F) quite literally just broke up yesterday. He broke up with me after 3 years of being together. I don’t even know where to start.

We grew up in the same small town but never crossed paths with one another. We met on tinder, had a date and the rest was history. We loved eachother so passionately never wanting to be away from one another, traveled together, lived together, created a life and did all that you could think of within our 3 year relationship. As of last October we finally got an apartment together and we have two cats. But now I have to deal with this heartbreaking reality that we’re broken up after I feel like I just established a life with him, a routine, I thought I found my person. I still do believe that honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

I’ve always known certain behaviors of his bothered me early on in the relationship. Like I wasn’t sure sometimes if he actually heard me out or wanted to work on things whenever I had a problem. However, with my rose colored glasses I didn’t see the need to do anything about it. Around the year-year and a half mark things started to become more noticeable to me and I started to put my boundaries up and communicate what bothered me, what hurt me etc. This always seemed to turn into an argument. I think he mistook my communication as attacking him. He isn’t very emotionally intelligent so I tried to be patient with him.

I have been an amazing girlfriend, I tried to help him grow, I took care of him when he needed to be heard, I was patient, loving and I nurtured him. I felt like I was his mom at some points. He even says I am an amazing human and girlfriend who deserves so much more. But I can’t help but see him, the man I’ve always loved. My literal everything.

Fast forward 3 years later and we just had a blow up kind of week. At first I was so sick of his behavior after 3 years of asking for change and not getting what I needed. That I said I wanted to end things. I didn’t mean it, I never meant it I truly just didn’t know any other direction I could’ve taken. I would turn into a person I didn’t want to because of his actions that he let linger on. He never changed in the way I needed, he claims he changed. But clearly now how I needed. I felt so unseen, unheard, uncared for because I felt like he didn’t care to hear me out. I always had good intentions and he made everything I did wrong, when I know for a fact I didn’t do anything but try to grow. So we talked things out, but I had obviously hurt him by threatening the breakup. I told him I would give him space these next few days because my therapist recommend space. I wanted to honor that so I left. But now he’s saying he doesn’t want to be with me. Mind you I left the apartment under the impression I was coming home that very weekend to resume our relationship per usual.

I’m not saying he’s wrong for doing what he feels is right. I don’t know how to let him go. He was so kind even during the breakup. “You deserve someone better” “I want to be alone this has nothing to do with you” etc. But I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s willing to lose me through all of that. He is okay with losing me, after we fought for eachother. He doesn’t want to give me false hope so it’s not like he’s saying there’s a possibility of getting back together in the future. But occasionally he implies it.

I don’t understand why we can’t grow together in a relationship. I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to do this as a team. I’ve gone to therapy a lot of my life so I’m comfortable with growing, being honest, communicating and being vulnerable. After a while of asking him to change I asked him to go to therapy. One day he’s all on board and the next he isn’t. “If I need to go to therapy to make this work we shouldn’t be together”. We’re different people who need to work and grow together but he doesn’t see it that way. He wants to break up so he can work on himself, go to therapy and start being an adult. But he doesn’t want to do things that make him uncomfortable which is working this out together, being vulnerable and communicating with one another. I don’t get why he can’t do that with me. I’m so lost, alone, scared, the world is caving in. My home, my person is leaving me.

So I want to know, if I give him space will he come back? I don’t want to hang on to something that might not ever be there for him again but I obviously haven’t lost hope. I don’t think I ever will. I am so madly in love with this man. I know there’s no definite answer but I want some outside opinions. I’ll also take any advice to make this easier.