12 months streak of NC - here’s everything I learned

To everyone who’s in NC:

My ex blindsided me deciding to end a 7+ years long relationship. We lived together too and were “the one” to each-other.

Now almost 1 year after the BU and into NC Im proud to state I haven’t reached to him even once.

Heres what happened:

1st time he reached out:

-2 weeks after BU, he reached to ask me how was I doing. I replied as advised (as good YT love coaches are advising). Nothing special just playing tennis, question-answer while being polite.

2nd time he reached out:

-Between 90-120 days into NC. This is the time when your ex will reach out if you are disciplined to not reach them first. General things how am I doing, whats new and he wanted to bring me my stuff back (after 3+ months lol).

3rd time he reached out: -6 months after the BU. Apparently he found my other stuff I was looking to get back the first time he brought me the stuff. Again another opportunity to have a conversation about whats happening in our lives.

4th time he reached out:

-10 months after BU. He reached out to tell me a positive family news which I didn’t ask for. By this time I found out he’s dating (he doesn’t know I know) yet messaged me the news.

So, basically every 3 months he’s reaching out. It’s like cycles of 90 days of NC. Pretty interesting isn’t it?

I also went radio silent, didn’t post on social media nor was active that much. (Let them wonder what youre doing 😌).

The mindset that got me here:

-NC is not a way to get them back. It’s a great opportunity to focus on yourself, detach and see the relationship from different perspective.

-The crucial thing is to not contact them especially if they’re the ones who dumped you. It’s their loss not yours.

-Contacting them will only boost their self confidence and worth. Not contacting them does the opposite, it makes you more powerful, confident and raises your value.

-Not contacting them is the best thing you can do. Think logically. If they want you they will do something to get you back. Chasing them will only push them further away. So I said why not do it till the end and properly? NC “by the book” and see what happens.

-I reversed the roles. If I dumped him, whats the best way my ex can behave that will make me feel the worst? And literally ignoring me, living the best life he can, minding his own business were at the top. So thats what I did.

Hope this helps. Thanks for reading. Ask me anything in the comments ☺️