Compassion reset

The past few months with my 3yo have been SO hard. She's in the thick of boundary pushing, demanding, screaming at me for any perceived wrongdoing, hitting, throwing, etc. My partner and I are both struggling big time.

I feel like I've lost my compassion for her. Like logically I know she's going through a lot developmentally, but emotionally all I do is react. I have very little patience anymore, my partner even less. I feel like when we talk about her it's in this us vs. her way that just seems wrong. How do I get my compassion back?

Can't afford therapy so please skip that suggestion. We don't have any family where we live so it's just us except maybe once a month where my parents visit or we visit them. We both WFH but I'm only part time so I'm the primary parent. She doesn't nap anymore and is waking up earlier and earlier so I'm losing most of my quiet time. I feel like I'm losing it