My Mother (67) has Bipolar I & Early Alzheimer's...

This is a long story so I will try to tell it as succinctly as possible. This is a rant/vent, but anyone that is able to make it through the wall of text with relevant advice, would be MUCH appreciated...

I am 34M and my mother (67) has had bipolar disorder my entire life. She would be stable for many years at a time then would go off her meds & end up in a manic state where she would need to be hospitalized.

My step father passed away very unexpectedly this past July and my mother was acting strange, but I was distraught & figured it was just her grieving. Turns out she probably stopped taking her meds sometime in late June 2024, even before my step father died. I got into a big argument with my step father in October 2023 and we hadn't been speaking, I'm harboring a ton of guilt and shame over this that is still with me, probably always will be. Anyway Mom was living along from that time until early December 2024.

Come early December 2024 my mother stopped in at my apartment unexpectedly and was acting very strange, but I was incredibly depressed at the time and didn't think much of it. Two days passed and I hadn't heard from her, turns out she lost her phone, no idea where. A family friend stopped by her house, called me & said she was acting VERY strange. I told him I'd check on her after work expecting to have to call the police to have her taken to the hospital. She was the worst I had ever seen her; talking about how all the answers were on the walls, saying our family helped build this country, knew the founding fathers, saying we're from Native American decent, etc...it was really upsetting. The cops came & she did NOT go willingly, they had to handcuff her & four cops carried her out...

She was in a psych ward from December 8th to January 1st when they transferred her to another hospital to be treated for cellulitis as her legs & feet were very swollen. They treated her for that & released her on January 4th. I picked her up as I had no idea what else to do at the time. The psych ward told me to go to APlaceforMom.com for help, what a joke...I tried to take care of her for a few days; it was a nightmare. She was still manic & making a mess out of everything, not sleeping, etc...Putting random things in bags (cookware, meds, lotions, charger cords), microwaving garbage, chocolate, & cheese puffs. She even put a hole through the wall with a small hammer as she said the whole house needs to be remolded. She had a PCP appointment that I took her too on January 8th. There I took the PCP aside & told her what was going on, she said she needed to go back to the hospital ASAP. I took her directly there, she didn't put up a fight this time.

She was at this psych ward for about another month and was just released on Monday, February 3rd. Her mania is more under control now, but the psychiatrist told me he's convinced she has early Alzheimer's (runs in the family so no surprise). I've been staying with her since then, but I can't do it long term, I need to go back to work. Tomorrow we are going to an elder lawyer as she's agreed to sign over POA to me & my sister. I've been the only one here handling all of this as my sister lives in VA & all her immediate family has passed at this point. Basically, I'm completely overwhelmed & not sure what I'm going to do with her. She does NOT want to go to assisted living & was even fighting home care, but her living at home is not a sustainable long-term solution.

I've paid as many bills as I could via her own checking account & set up as many things on autopay as I can w/o POA, but she is on SS & basically broke. She had a bunch of surgeries over the past year or two and she took out a bunch of personal loans to pay for them (tens of thousands of dollars). Oh btw, she or the staff at the first psych ward lost/threw out her dentures, so she's had no teeth for the past 2 months which complicates getting her food she can eat. The psychiatrist said she cannot drive anymore & she still doesn't have a phone as I'm afraid of turning on one of her older smart phones because she bought an insane amount of crap she doesn't need from freakin' Amazon & Temu. I still cannot access her email account as she can't remember the password & she's never been an organized person; papers, files, receipts, & notes are everywhere. I've gone through a lot but there's still a ton more.

I also deal with my own anxiety & depression. This has been incredibly emotionally draining, I've been crying more than I ever have which is making me feel like I'm a baby who can't handle life, I can barely take care of myself. My GF cheated on me last spring, I'm not on speaking terms with my father, and even though my sister has been helping from a distance & family friends have helped in small ways, I feel incredibly alone, scared, & despondent. I don't know how I've been able to get this far without falling apart myself. Anyway, I guess I'll end this here. Sorry this was so long, I actually have left a bunch of things out but its long enough as it is.

If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I've just started frequenting this & other related subreddits, which has been incredibly helpful & informative.

Thanks to any & all that read & respond!