AITAH For Refusing To Work Thanksgiving So My Co-Worker Can Celebrate With Her Kids?

28F. I recently got engaged and have been at my current job for a little over two years now. I love my job, and feel honored to do it, but one downside is that we’re needed 365 days a year and so it’s common to work on holidays.

The general rule is that individuals who are new are first in line to work on Thanksgiving and Christmas. There’s also an informal expectation that individuals without kids will cover those shifts so parents can celebrate with their families. People at work especially seem to care about moms being home with their children.

This year, I’m scheduled to work on Christmas but get Thanksgiving off. This is my first holiday off since I’ve been on the job, so I’m very excited. One of my co-workers, June, was in the same hiring class as me. She’s a few years older because she started grad school late, and is married with two young kids. On Friday, she approached me and asked if I would be willing to cover her shift on Thanksgiving so she could celebrate with her kids.

I was a bit upset, since I’ve been looking forward to celebrating with my family, fiancé, and future in-laws this year. As I mentioned, I just got engaged, and this is the first time our families are doing a blended holiday. I explained the situation to June, and she said that her daughters deserve to have their mom with them on Thanksgiving. I suggested celebrating the holiday on a later date with her family because I wasn’t going to be covering for her. June was annoyed, and said I was breaking the informal code of the office.

I spoke to my mentor about this (she’s in her fifties and has kids) and she thinks I should have agreed to cover for June so her kids could be with their mother on Thanksgiving. I said that the expectation isn’t fair, since June was the one who decided to have kids and also chose an intense line of work where she sometimes has to work holidays. Additionally, it’s unfair that individuals who chose not to have children are penalized for the decisions of others and are expected to always work holidays.

She asked me to take a step back and realize it’s not about being fair to June or me, but doing what’s right for the kids who already don’t get to see their mother as often as they’d like because she’s serving our country. She said if I chose to have kids one day, I may think about it differently. I’m pretty clear about the fact that when I decide to have kids, I won’t expect my co-workers to pay the price for that decision.

I’ll note that my job is certainly a public service, and the institution prides itself on doing what’s best for the country rather than for ourselves. I’m alright with sacrificing my time to help the general public, but also, I don’t think I should be pressured into working every holiday so my co-workers can be with the kids THEY brought into this world. AITAH?